the pregnant princess and the pea

I'm basically the most impatient person I know--on a normal day, this isn't just because of the pregnancy. (hee hee.) There are many things that really irritate me , but when I react to them, I feel like I'm 2 people. One of these people is reacting to a small problem like a crazy person. The other is the one that is actually me, and that one is observing the actions of this strange crazy person inhabiting my body. Observing, but unable to interfere.

(I don't think I'm overreacting to my work situation, because all the interpreters at the U are feeling the same way right now. But I do agree with Kelli; I need to stop and take a breath and regain my composure about the entire situation. Because I am in control, not my boss. She can't have control over me.)

Over the past few weeks, maybe a month or so, all of my senses have become heightened. My skin is super sensitive, so that anything remotely scratchy hurts a lot. I love to go an touch the baby stuff in stores, because they are much softer than regular stuff. My eyes have changed in very strange ways: my vision is more blurry while at the same time, lights and strong colors hurt to look at. But I can see the colors in the trees and the beautiful clouds and mountains from the view on campus. I can now smell everything more acutely, from the boy that doesn't shower, to the smelly feet of the girl sitting across the room. I can also smell good things better, however, and I can tell from the other end of the house that Brett just ate something sweet and so I have to go eat some too (because I'm all about the sugar right now). My taster has changed as well, but I can't think of anything specific, except the sugar cravings.

My friend Megan told me last night (while I was venting to her about my boss), that the yoga instructor from class yesterday told her that today is the first day of some new year (that I can't remember, but I think it was Mayan). She said that the past year has been bad, we've been in bad energy for a year, and that the new year is going to be better. (That is applicable in many ways right now, one big way I can think of is our recent election.) Although I don't tend to get very mystical personally, I always like the idea of a fresh start. And I feel a fresh start today. I am in control of my own life and no one else can take that from me. I will better understand my boundaries and limitations and do what is best for myself and my family. And I plan to look for joy and beauty in my life rather than stress and fear (and clutter, for those of you that have seen my house).